An Opinion on 2012

If you’re not privy to the controversy surrounding this year than you have been living in a world unbeknown to me. Yes, you guessed it, when I put “An Opinion on 2012” in the title of my blerg I am of course referring to the (potential) impending apocalypse. We are all familiar with the story of the Mayan calendar ending December 20, 2012 and there have been predictions of total world annihilation, volcanoes exploding on unparalleled levels, tsunamis swallowing major cities, yada, yada, yada. It is completely and utterly preposterous to believe that a calendar created by a Central American indigenous tribe back two millenniums ago accurately predicts the end of the world. If Arkhum Asylum existed in physical form, it would surely be full of these crazy/loony people who believe in this ridiculous idea. It is crazy. Right?

Now before I write this next segment, let it be known that I do not believe the world will end in 2012 and I am not a member of the caucus believing in this ludicrous idea. However, there is this tiny, very little, talking nanotechnology size here, part of me that is curious. In the past decade, the world has experienced some incredible, if not unheard of events. And they cover a wide breadth of situations, although most are natural. I am simply going to list, in chronological order, somewhat incredulous events that have all happened within the past decade alone.

9/11 attacks in the U.S.

2004 tsunamis in South East Asia

2004 Madrid bombings

2005 hurricane season in U.S., symbolized by the devastation of Hurricane Katrina

2008 financial meltdown, global catastrophe

2008 Sichuan, China earthquake

2010 Haiti earthquake

2010 BP Oil Spill

2011 Middle East unprecedented levels of protest

2011 Japan earthquake and tsunami

2011 tornadoes in the U.S.

I’m sure I have missed many events and occurrences on this list, like genocide in Africa which I am not well-educated on, but readers, you get the point. Now, there have clearly been events in the past that rival these in magnitude of incredulity. Examples include the Holocaust, both World Wars, even Krakatoa. But all of the events I listed above, no matter how you may rate them on the incredulity meter, have all happened in our recent past. And if you notice, they seem to bunch towards the end, towards 2012. What is happening? I don’t know, but there is a small, foreboding nature about it. The world in which we live in now is a far different place than what it was 10 years ago with the onslaught of technology and globalization.

The world will not end in 2012, I can assure you that…at least I think.

I Don’t Even Know What This is But I like ittttt

A teaser for some new Beastie Boys stuff, I really should get my older brother to blog this, I was like 9 when they were dank.

Will Roger Goodell Get Shot Tonight?? by Matt Emmert

From my accountant Matt EmmERt:

So as many of you already know, the NFL Draft is on tonight.  While the normal hype and hoopla have been accompanying the event this year, the whole experience has been overshadowed by the impending lockout.  Now I know some of you readers in the proverbial cyber abyss want to celebrate Judge Susan Richard Nelson decision to end the “lockout” this past Monday, the fact of the matter still remains that we have no free agency and we have no trades.  YAY! Judege Nelson took the locks off the stadiums and let players workout in the facilities again!!!  But guess what folks, the players are not even allowed to work out in the team gyms right now.  Does that sound like progress to you?  I think not.  By no means do I claim to be Adam Schefter, but I think I know enough about football and the judicial system to know that this decision, albeit a step in the right direction, does not mean that we have a NFL season to watch this September.

So as teams get ready to make their drafts in just a few hours, how can managers and coaches make the best decisions for their respective teams, based on their roster needs, when they don’t truly know what their roster needs are.  Sure coaches can guess which players won’t resign and which players want out of their current environment, but until those aforementioned players are traded or dropped, its all just pointless speculation.  I will give you a very relevant example that should help prove my point.  In the 2011 draft, the Arizona Cardinals have the 5^th overall pick.  Now assuming they do not want to be stuck with Derek Anderson as their QB for another year, they would have been shopping around for another QB this past offseason (if it were allowed).  Current “source around the league” (whatever the hell that means) say that Marc Bulger (ex Ravens QB) has an “understanding” to sign with the Cardinals when free agency begins again.  If my use of quotations marks two different times in the past sentence doesn’t scream of speculation, I don’t know how else to get my point across.  So, the Cardinals are blessed with the 5^th overall pick in the NFL draft, but don’t know if they actually have a proficient QB next year.  If Cam Newton or Blaine Gabbert are still available when the Cardinals number is called, what do you do???  Answer:  Your guess is as good as mine.  Some might say this adds a whole other aspect to the draft and actually makes it more exciting this year.  While those people might be right, the bottom line is, this has not been the way the NFL has been run for as long as I have been on this Earth, and why change what works and what is extremely profitable?

So now comes Roger Goodell.  If I am Commissioner Goodell tonight, I am shitting my pants about going under those lights on the big stage.  Sure he is not the owners and he is not the head of the players union, but he is the face of the NFL and will undoubtedly be faced with a sea of cackles and boos tonight.  I realize Goodell is a big man and has dealt with adversity before, but this potential harassment could bring even the most confident of men to his knees.  People love their football.  Its a Sunday tradition and has been since the beginning of time.  The only way Goodell does not get shot tonight (literarily or figuratively – hopefully the latter) is if he goes up an stage, sprints to the microphone, and screams, “the owners and the players association have ended their standoff and we will have a season this year!”

The chances of this happening are slim to none, but speculation has continued up to this point, so why stop now?

Upception

Kudos to whoever makes these videos, they are very entertaining. Oh, would you look at that? I’ve spent the last 5 hours in the library and have 1, albeit excellent, paragraph to show for it.

Jersey Shore, Oscar Wilde Style

I’d much prefer to watch the Jersey Shore this way. Give me Snooki or even better, J-Woww, in a corset. Those great New Yorks of theirs would be EXPLODING in your face, I’d pay ample amounts of coinage for that…

Duck vs. Derg

This duckling has some balls, but unfortunately no teeth. This duck is so badass I might have to change the site name to http://www.sexyduck.com, nevermind, already taken, I dare you to go there. This is a landmark moment for us here at The Derg, this could possibly be the last video that prevents me from doing schoolwork. In the next step of life its going to take way less than a sexy duck to distract me, all I can hope is that by that point, I will be an official giraffe.